Raising a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) brings unique joys and challenges.
On one hand, your child is a bright, caring, intelligent human being yearning for independence and understanding.
They are capable of amazing things from completely reciting baseball metrics on your favorite players to being able to solve complex problems that stump most adults.
On the other hand, basic life functions like grooming, how to socialize, how to be a good friend, and even following simple directions (“Please put this bag in the blue trash can in the kitchen”) completely eludes them!
How do I know this? Both Zeke and I have autistic children of our own!
Don’t believe me? Check out my ABOUT page and MY STORY to learn more!
We know what it’s like to see them fail at basic functions most kids their age should thrive at: unable to tie their shoes, constantly tripping or bumping into things, and not understanding common instructions.
We know what it’s like to get called to school for their “disruptive behavior” only to find an out of control, unbelievably noisy, terribly run classroom.
It’s horrifying to see your child sitting in fetal position under his desk holding his ears and screaming at the top of his lungs for them to stop because the noise is SO overwhelming.
And we know what it’s like to chew out the fu3k!25 principal for having the gall to blame my child for the classroom situation and call him “disruptive”! REALLY!?! My kid’s the problem…You sure!?!
And we know what it’s like to see that same kind, sweet person fail time after time to make and keep a friend.
Personally, I stood by, saw my son’s anguish, and felt his pain.
It still breaks my heart just thinking about it.
So when we say we know your pain points we mean it.
Speaking from experience, one of the most difficult things to face is that your special needs child also needs special help that is often beyond your time, ability, or means.
The good news is there are many amazing support services where you can get that type of special help for your children — but navigating the range of support services available to help your child thrive at each stage of life is extremely tedious and overwhelming to say the least.
Accessing these resources effectively can provide essential tools to help address your child’s communication, socialization, physical, academic, and independent living needs and goals.
This guide outlines the support services available during preschool years.
Early Childhood (Preschool Age: 2–5)
Many autistic children get their first diagnosis between age 2-3 because that is when it can start to become more apparent that certain milestones are getting missed, or that the child is having challenges in areas related to communication, socialization, and behavior.
As a parent who may not have much experience raising a special needs child, some of the key questions you may be asking yourself and that we want to help you answer are:
- How do I get my child properly evaluated to know what they need now?
- What therapies are available and how do I access them?
- How can I support my child’s development at home?
Key Focus At This Stage: Early Intervention and Skill Development
Early childhood is a critical period for intervention because research shows that early diagnosis and support can significantly improve developmental outcomes for children with autism.
The period from birth to age five is often referred to as the “golden window” for intervention in children with ASD and other developmental delays.
The sooner you understand your child’s needs and begin targeted interventions, the better equipped they will be to learn, grow, and adapt.
In other words, the sooner you know what you are dealing with, the easier and better it will be to help your child.
At this stage in life, it’s all about detection, intervention, and skill development (DIS for short).
Support Services Available To Your Autistic Child At This Stage:
- Developmental Screenings and Evaluations
The journey to finding support for your special needs child often begins with identifying developmental differences.
Developmental screenings can be conducted by pediatricians or specialists, using tools like the Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers (M-CHAT) which helps identify early signs of autism.
These screenings are a crucial first step, but a formal evaluation is necessary for a diagnosis and to determine eligibility for services.
To Use Effectively – Schedule Evaluations Early
- If you notice developmental delays, don’t wait! (For a complete list of potential symptoms, check out this link from Autism Speaks)
- Request formal screenings and evaluations immediately.
- Common signs of autism or developmental delays in young children can include:
- Limited, delayed, or no speech
- Difficulty maintaining eye contact
- Lack of response to their name
- Repetitive behaviors like hand-flapping or spinning
- Preference for playing alone vs playing with other kids their age
To Use Effectively – Integrate Therapies Into Home
Ensure to maintain open communication with providers to learn how to integrtae strategies into daily routines at home.
NOTE: While children with autism typically experience developmental delays, not every child with a developmental delay has autism; other factors like hearing or vision problems can also contribute. If you have concerns, consult with your healthcare provider.
2. Early Intervention Programs
Once a child is identified with developmental delays or an ASD diagnosis, Early Intervention (EI) programs become vital.
Early Intervention (EI) programs aim to address developmental delays across various domains and can include a range of therapies:
- Services such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, and Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy (among others) aim to address developmental delays.
- Programs are often state-funded under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and/or through local Departments of Health and Education.
- To Use Effectively – Know Your Rights
- Under IDEA, early intervention services are a LEGAL RIGHT for children with disabilities.
- Don’t be afraid to advocate for your child’s rights and don’t be afraid to hire legal representation if the school district is not cooperating.
- If you are struggling to advocate successfully for your child, you may be able to obtain low-cost or free legal services from special needs organizations like ARC to help you advocate for what your child needs. (I have used their services in the past and they are GREAT to work with AND no cost if you buy their inexpensive annual membership. 😊).
3. Preschool Special Education Services
As children approach their third birthday, they transition from Early Intervention services (Part C of IDEA) to preschool special education services (Part B Section 619 of IDEA), typically provided by public schools.
For children under three, Individualized Family Service Plans (IFSPs) are developed.
An IFSP is a written blueprint that maps out the services a child will receive between birth and age three, outlining the child’s current developmental levels, specific needs, and treatment goals.
It also focuses on the family’s needs and resources.
The IFSP team includes people involved in the child’s evaluation, a service coordinator, and service providers, and is reviewed every six months and rewritten annually.
For children over 3 years old, Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) are developed and these plans describe the specific educational strategies, therapies, and interventions recommended to help your child meet their goals.
It outlines measurable educational and functional goals and specifies the services the school district must provide to achieve those goals.
The IEP team, which includes parents, teachers, and other staff members, collaboratively creates this personalized plan, which is reviewed at least annually.
- To Use Effectively – Know Your Rights:
- Both IFSPs and IEPs are legal documents that schools and agencies must adhere to.
- Under IDEA, every student with an IEP is entitled to a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) tailored to their unique needs at no cost and includes the right to an education in the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE) which means children with disabilities should be educated alongside their non-disabled peers whenever possible.
- Parents also have the right to be part of the IEP committee, to participate in creating the IEP, and to challenge IEPs that you believe are ineffective or insufficient for your child’s unique needs.
- If you believe your child was wrongly deemed ineligible or if an IEP isn’t developed within 30 days of qualification, you have legal options such as a free evaluation from the state’s early intervention services program for an IFSP, and for an IEP, parents can request an evaluation through their school district by sending a written letter to the special education director.
- How to Use Effectively – Advocate and Collaborate:
- It is ALWAYS best to foster a collaborative environment with your child’s teachers and with their school to do whatever is in your child’s best interest.
- However, if the school district is not cooperating or meeting your child’s needs, do not hesitate to advocate fiercely.
- As with early intervention, legal support from disability-rights organizations (e.g. ARC) or a special education attorney can be invaluable if needed.
- NOTE: Parents also have the right to an interpreter at IEP meetings if they do not speak English well, and to receive notices in a language they understand.
4. Parenting Your Special Needs Child
Whether your child is 2 or 12 years old, and whether you are a new parent or a “grizzled” veteran (like me! 😊), you can always learn new ways to parent, especially when it comes to your special needs children.
Programs like the Positive Parenting Practices handbook or this GREAT article from Autism Spectrum News can help you learn techniques to support your child’s development at home no matter their age or learning style.
The simplest and best advice I can give for parents just starting out on this journey (and what I must remind myself CONSTANTLY!), is the difference between intention and behavior.
What I have found out the hard way (more than I care to remember), is that, more often than not, for an autistic child, mis-intentions are perceived as “misbehavior”.
For example, my daughters were playing baseball last weekend with their aunt.
They were out there for a long time and all I heard was a lot of laughing and giggling so I thought nothing of it.
After awhile, their aunt walks in and asks, “did you know how the girls tag runners out? … they throw the ball at them!”
Turns out my 12-year-old girls changed the rules of the game (as they often do) and play it THEIR way.
Luckily, the ball was a foam (though denser foam) ball they were using for “tagging” runners out.
Now, I have played baseball with them DOZENS of times AND take them to DOZENS of baseball games so they SHOULD know how to properly tag runners out because I have explained it to them COUNTLESS times!
In the car on the way home, I asked them about this and asked them why they were throwing the ball instead of holding the ball and touching the baserunner.
Their reaction?
“We didn’t know that!” …. dddooppe! ☹
After explaining this minor (yet important) difference and how it was being perceived, they were embarrassed and ashamed to say the least.
While they never INTENDED this to hurt someone, their perceived BEHAVIOR made it seem like they were.
Welcome to the world of parenting autistic children! 😊
This example highlights the importance of:
- Patience and Understanding: Autistic children often process information differently. What seems obvious to a neurotypical person may not be clear to them.
- Clear and Explicit Communication: Assumptions about understanding can lead to frustration. Break down instructions into smaller, concrete steps.
- I sometimes find myself talking to them in such slow, simple, concrete instructions that my dog could probably understand what to do. If it works just go with it!
- I know how frustrating this can be but the bigger problem you are trying to avoid is a misunderstanding that leads to a negative outcome.
- Looking Beyond the Surface: Always consider the underlying reasonfor a behavior. I cannot stress this enough.
- Is it sensory overload, communication difficulty, anxiety, or a misunderstanding of social expectations?
- Children with autism may struggle to communicate their needs, leading to behavioral problems.
- Focusing on Strengths: Celebrate your child’s unique abilities and progress, rather than solely focusing on challenges. This builds confidence and self-esteem.
- Positive Reinforcement: Reward desired behaviors to encourage their repetition.
- Self-Care and Support Networks: Parenting a child with special needs is demanding. It’s essential to prioritize your well-being, seek support from friends, family, or support groups, and not hesitate to ask for help.
Conclusion
This guide focuses specifically on the preschool years (ages 0-5) offering crucial insights into the support services available, and key things every parent needs to know to begin their special education journey.
Raising an autistic child is a journey filled with profound love, unique challenges, and countless opportunities for growth.
For parents, especially those new to the world of special needs, these initial years are a critical period of discovery, intervention, and foundational development.
As parents of autistic children ourselves, we intimately understand the mix of emotions you might be experiencing.
We know the joy of witnessing their unique brilliance, but we also know the heartbreak of seeing them struggle with basic life skills, social interactions, or even simple instructions.
We’ve been there, watching our own children becoming overwhelmed by sensory input in a noisy classroom, and feeling their pain when they struggle to make & keep friends.
This firsthand experience is what fuels our commitment to helping you navigate this journey.
Navigating the array of available support services can feel overwhelming, but understanding these resources and knowing your rights is the first step toward empowering your child to thrive.
By breaking it down into life stages and understanding the resources available for each, their journey becomes much more manageable.
The early years (ages 0-5) are a foundational period where early intervention and skill development can significantly impact your child’s future.
Lastly, the most important thing to remember is that you are your child’s most important advocate.
By being proactive in seeking evaluations, understanding the legal rights afforded by IDEA through IFSPs and IEPs, and actively collaborating with professionals, parents can create a supportive environment that empowers their child to thrive.
The journey may not always be straightforward, but with the right tools, knowledge, and a deep understanding of your child’s unique perspective, you can provide the strong foundation they need to lead a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Combining that with some amazing support services designed to help your child flourish provides essential tools for your child’s communication, socialization, physical, academic, and independent living goals.
We all want our children to have a better life than what we had…. It’s natural, human nature even.
And they can have that better life too… they just need a little more help to get them started on their journey.
Food for thought… 😊
Schedule a call with my friend Zeke Zimmerman here!
Until next time,
Live The Life You Love, Want, And Deserve! 😊